In honor of
by Bayliwick
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS! One-shot/drabble series to honor Natasha/Black Widow's death. Each chapter will be her interacting with a different Avenger at different times, will include angst, fluff, hurt!tony and much more. No official ships, but there are mentions of some.
1. To Avenge

**A/N: The movie broke my heart. This is my band-aid. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers or anything in the MCU, if I did I sure as hell would have not let Nat die.**

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_"It's okay, boss. This was never going to work if they never had something to… [avenge]."_

\- Agent Phillip J. Coulson

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"Whatever it takes."

(_But what if it was too much?_)

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"See you in a minute." She sassed, a rare smirk gracing her lips. Hope tingled behind her words, sparking through the everlasting cloud that had consumed them for five long years. (_A promise of what could be._)

Their arms extended in unity, their eyes met the others' with conviction, and they shared nods of understanding. (_They were gonna get this son of a bitch._)

With a flash, they were gone.

(_If only they knew it would be the last good-bye._)

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"Let me go."

"No!"

"It's okay." Her eyes are soft, comforting, _accepting_. He remembers when she had been on her knees with his arrow drawn, and it was her eyes that changed his mind then. The blankness gone from her programmed gaze, he saw only acceptance and eagerness. It was what had made him betray direct orders and offer her his hand instead.

Another protest rises at his lips, but she is too fast. (_She was always faster than him when sparring, pinning him down with a triumphant flash of teeth_). Knocking his hand away, she is falling, and he is reaching, grasping, catching only air as she leaves him.

He looks away, but he hears the _thud_ in his ears and concurrently feels the lurch in his heart as the rope pulls him back.

(_She was always saving his life, one way or another._)

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Mid-afternoon light shimmers across the lake as five men on a covered dock let silence reign.

"Why did it have to be her?" A broken whisper comes from a hunched figure, his eyes never leaving the arrow necklace in his hand.

The other four figures stay quiet, none having a good answer.

"It should've been me." The hunched figure whispers more to himself. "It should've been me."

Thor takes a swig of his bottle, his eyes averted from his fragile friend. (_Everyone he touches seems to die._)

Bruce feels anger pulsating through his body as he sees his battered arm. (_A reminder of his failure to the woman he loves._)

Steve sits next to Clint, rubbing his back in a feeble attempt of comfort. (_They both lost their partner today._)

Tony turns away from his teammates watching as the sun sinks lower, signaling the end. (_She was there since the beginning._)

(_Of all the souls, why did it have to be hers?_)

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Joy. For the first time in ages, they felt it. Pure, untainted emotions as they saw their loved ones return before their eyes.

Steve ran to clutch Bucky, their smiles brighter than the sun.

Tony scooped up Peter, the teenager's face filled with wonder as he choked out a "Mr. Stark?"

Rhodey pulled Sam in for a quick hug, equal grins on their face.

Clint held Wanda in his arms as tears streamed down her face.

Shuri and Okoye ran to their king, throwing all formalities aside as he grasped them in a bear hug.

Rocket wiped tears out of his eyes as Groot picked him up in delight.

Thor looked down at Peter with a strong smile, as Drax and Mantis swooned over the god.

Carol teased Fury about letting himself get evaporated away while he mumbled back good-naturedly, "It took you damn long enough to reverse it!"

After the calm settled and everyone cast their hellos, a voice piped up, "Where's Nat?"

Questioning glances were exchanged as Bruce managed to choke out, "She's gone."

Wanda, ever the brave one, asked, "What do you mean?" The young girl turned to Clint, whose face was crumbling by her side.

Taking the lead, Tony explained, "She sacrificed herself for the soul stone. We can't bring her back."

Protests and sobs obliterated the euphoria in a heartbeat.

"There must be something we can do!"

"We can't turn back time?"

"How come we could come back, but not her?"

Attempting to calm the masses, Tony raised his voice, "We already tried. It's not possible to reverse."

An uneasy silence encased the group and this time Sam, asked, "So what can we do?"

"Well, that purple demon is still out there."

"Then I say we take that son of a bitch down." Fury spoke up, eying the strangely united group in front of him. Familiar words repeated in the back of his mind, knowing that Natasha Romanoff's sacrifice would not be in vain today.

Multiple pairs of eyes glinted as vitality returned to the group, knowing what their next mission was.

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As they stormed the battlefield, powers ablaze, weapons drawn, machines firing, and enemies charging, they remembered who they were doing this for.

(_What better way to honor her memory, than by doing the same exact thing she would have done?_).

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**A/N: This is the start of a drabble series I plan on doing actually. I want to write a scene with each character in the Avengers interacting with Nat and showing how important of a character she really was. She was the glue to the Avengers and I hope this first piece and the rest that I'll be posting soon will showcase this. It's also just an excuse to write some fun scenes that I imagine happened at some point or another.**

**Whether you stick around for the series or not, I just hope you enjoyed my attempt at working through my grief. **


	2. Wanda

**A/N: Wanda's up first!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Marvel.**

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"Pietro!"

A scream rips through the silence of the tower. A pair of green eyes flit towards the level above her, envisioning the young girl having the nightmare. As brilliant as Tony is, he couldn't have invented soundproof walls?

She turns back over to snuggle her pillow once more before another scream causes her to freeze. "Мама! Папа!"

Normally she'd ignore it, find a pair of earplugs and stay uninvolved. Let Steve or Clint handle it even, hell, they were the only two Wanda really talked to. But, something about hearing her native tongue scream such familiar cries causes her to get up. It reminds herself of the pain she and the young girl share.

Pulling on her robe and grabbing a bottle from her hidden stash, she makes her way up the elevator. Small lights flicker along the floor like an airport runway, leading her to the door and with only slight hesitation, she knocks.

There's a shuffle on the other end, and a disheveled brunette opens the door. Her oversized shawl is wrapped around her shoulders as she stands in front of the red-headed spy.

"Yes?" Wanda's voice is tentative. Her brown eyes move to the bottle Natasha holds up in her hand.

"You bring me vodka?" The girl's accent is thick in the confusion.

Nodding, Natasha pushes her way into the room to locate two glasses she knows Tony stashed in every floor. Wanda follows her cautiously, perching herself on the couch.

Natasha sees the questions in her eyes, answering before she can ask, "When I relive my own nightmares, I find that the strong stuff helps."

Expertly pouring a healthy dose for herself and the girl, Wanda takes the glass offered to her. She stares down at it with suspicion before taking a tiny sip.

"It is Russian?"

"The good stuff," Natasha replies with a small smile. She can feel the girl's curiosity and sees her internal debate of what to say.

"It doesn't get easier." Wanda is taken aback by the spy's blunt tone as Natasha casually drinks her alcohol.

"The nightmares?" The girl looks down at her own glass. Her voice is a whisper, trembling slightly.

"Yeah," Natasha admits quietly.

Wanda studies the spy for a moment, "You have similar nightmares?"

Flashes of a more joyful time run through Natasha's head. A warm embrace of a red-haired woman, a man who teasingly taps her nose when she asks for a new doll, being wrapped in a hand-knitted scarf against the harsh Russian winter, and so many more. Her fist clenches her glass as she downs the rest of her drink to wash it all away. Feeling Wanda's eyes on her, she elaborates slightly, "I know what it is like to lose a family."

Wanda's eyes fill with pity briefly, but Natasha's thankful that the girl has the sense to neutralize her gaze almost immediately. They sit in silence for a few more minutes, both nursing their second glass now. Natasha sees the girl's eyes drooping, and the determination in her shoulders to fight the sleep.

The red-head reaches over to touch the girl's shoulder. "I think it's time we try to sleep now."

Casting her eyes down, Wanda mumbles something incoherent about not wanting to be alone.

"I'll spend the night then." Natasha surprises herself with the offer, but she knows that the younger girl needs someone here right now. A small smile crosses the brunette's face at the thought of battling the nightmares alone. Together they make the oversized couches in the living room into (unexpectedly) comfortable beds with the abundance of pillows and blankets from the linen closet and settle in for the night.

"Natasha?" Wanda's voice sounds in the dark room.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime дитя."

(_Anytime there was a nightmare, s__he always came with the strong stuff in hand with a pillow thrown under her arm_.)

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Translations (I used google translate):

Мама & Папа - Mom and Dad

дитя - Kid

**A/N: I love the possibility of a Wanda and Nat relationship since they're both from a similar part of the world (I know Sokovia is fictional, but it's a fictional Eastern European country so I'm just gonna roll with it) and both have troubled pasts. I imagine Nat knowing her family at one point before going to the Red Room and that would help her relate to Wanda losing her parents and then Pietro. Also, Wanda is in her late teens in this fic with Nat being in her mid-thirties, so that's why I had Nat use the nickname "kid" since Wanda is still very much a kid.**

**Please R&R!**


	3. Tony

**A/N: Tony time! This one ended up a bit longer, but they're a fun a pair to write about and it got away from me. **

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Gunfire hailed down over the group as Natasha peeked her head over the block of concrete to locate the shooters. "There's three." She reported to the slumped man next to her, his mask blown off to show the torment etched in his. The red and gold armor that was still attached to his body was covered in soot, while his underclothes were in tatters and his leg wound was bleeding profusely.

Tony groaned in response, his eyes flickering in and out of consciousness. Gritting her teeth, she slapped his cheek lightly to bring him back to her. "Come on, Shellhead. You gotta stay awake for me."

He groaned, "Shut up She-Spider." His eyes opened to meet hers, "What's your plan for getting out of here?"

She peered over the block again, "I can reach two of them from here, but I'm going to have to get a different position for the third."

"Coms still down?" Tony's voice quivering despite his best attempts. He held pressure to his wound, but she could see the blood still spreading through the makeshift bandages.

"Yeah," she muttered, checking her ammunition. Five bullets left plus her widow bites, she was going to have to make her shots count.

Lifting her arm, she easily took out the first two before jumping over the block to chase down the third. "Wait here."

"Like I have a choice." He let out a tortured laugh.

She chuckled before taking off, ducking under piles of wreckage as she ran, trying desperately to get a good shot. She pulled up her head to aim again when she heard a cry behind her, whipping around, she saw a team of men carrying an unconscious Tony with them.

Letting loose a string of Russian curses, she realized she fell right for their ploy to draw her away from Iron Man. He had been their target all along. Firing off her last bullet at the sniper, she didn't have to look back to know she hit her mark.

Leaping back over the wreckage, she dodged the gunfire at her as she shot her widow bites at the three men. Stealing a dagger from one of their pockets, she methodically stabbed the first two when the third tried to come at her.

He managed to get in a shot but being a pro she barely registered the pain. Falling back on her instincts, she gripped his forearm as he rushed her to stab the knife into his back, leaving him to fall to the ground behind her. Rushing over to her teammate, she let out a breath of relief when feeling a slight pulse.

His wound was bleeding heavily again though, and she knew she'd have to get him out of there quickly. Supporting his weight on hers, she ignored her bruises and cuts as she carried him to the rendezvous.

Her arms were protesting when the quinjet came into sight like an oasis in the desert. Upon seeing the vehicle, Steve and Rhodey rushed down to greet them, followed closely by Wanda who had the medical bag in her hands. Rhodey grabbed his best friend from Natasha's grasp and at her assurance that she was fine, Steve helped carry Tony up the ramp as well.

Ever perceptive, Wanda saw the blood on Natasha's stomach and reached to help the red-headed woman, but she shook her off with "It's Tony's. Go help him."

Nodding, the young girl raced after her teammates. Once they were gone, Natasha allowed herself to feel the wound on her side. Her lightheadedness told her she lost a lot of blood, perhaps more than that time Bucky had shot her, but her adrenaline and worry for her friend gave her the strength to push up the ramp and see Sam and Wanda expertly checking on Tony's injuries.

"Is he going to live?" She asked, her voice light.

Steve turned to meet her eyes, "He'll be okay. You did good, Nat."

"Good." She replied, slumping forward from blood loss. _I didn't realize I lost so much_, she thought before falling towards the ground into darkness.

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The grating beep of a monitor woke her up. Blinking at the harsh lighting she knew she was back at the compound in the medic wing. An IV stuck to her skin and the machines to her side measured her vitals.

"Gave us quite the scare, Red." A cocky tone sounded from her right.

Shifting her head, her eyes landed on a bruised-up Tony. His leg was in a cast, with crutches leaning against his chair, and he had a few stitched on his forehead from shallow cuts.

"I could say the same for you." She croaked, her mouth dry from dehydration.

Tony reached for a cup and handed it to her, she looked at it suspiciously before he said, "Relax its just water. I'm not going to spike your drink while you're still injured, Nat."

Gulping it down, she grinned in reply. "I'd prefer that."

"Of course, you would, you drink vodka like it is water."

"Like you don't do the same with whiskey." She shot back, pouring herself another glass.

He laughed, but the humor didn't quite reach his eyes. He took a moment before saying, "You almost died, Nat."

Her smirk flat-lined into a serious expression, "I've almost died many times, and a few were with you and team I recall. What's such a big deal about this one?"

"You almost died to save me." His eyes met her's again, in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"Yeah, I did." She stated softly, "I'd do it again too."

He opened his mouth, but she put her hand over his to quiet him. "_Tony_," she emphasized his name to get his attention. "You're family, and I'll always do anything for my family."

He stilled for a brief moment before shooting her a cocky grin, "Are you saying you _love _me?"

She snatched her hand away and rolled her eyes. "Right now, I certainly don't love the Frankenstein theme you're trying. It's too early for Halloween.

Chuckling, he shot back, "I could say the same for you, Red. But right now, I'm going to tell everyone that you _love_ me!"

He was halfway down the hall on his crutches by the time she was able to rip out the IV and chase after him screaming profanities.

(_She always put them first with no hesitation_.)

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**A/N: I forgot to mention this earlier, but thank you so much to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and reviewed this fic so far! It means the world to me that you guys are enjoying my work :) **

**I'll try to post the next chapter soon, can you guess who'll it'll be? **


	4. Steve

**A/N: Captain America's turn!**

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They face each other, her dressed in a black trench coat and her hair softly glowing from the filtered light in the stain-glass, while he is cast in shadows, his body sagging in grief.

"I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the accords. There's plenty of room on the jet." Her lips are quirked up as he raises his eyes to meet her emerald gaze.

He sighed heavily at her words. "Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

She's closer to him now, her face carefully neutral, but he can see the sanguine features hidden underneath. He sees it slip away as he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it."

"I know." Her fists clench slightly, yet she nods in understanding as she steps back. She knew him too well, but she had still hoped.

"Then what are you doing here?"

She meets his eyes, green and blue a delicate mix. "I didn't want you to be alone."

She offers him a quick hug before they walk out of the church, together.

As they watch the coffin be slowly deposited into the ground, she grabs his hand and holds tight as tears stream down his face. He leans into her, taking comfort in her presence.

(_She was always there for him, even in the worst of times_.)

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"Where do you think we'll go when we die? Heaven or hell?"

"What makes you ask?"

"You can't answer with a question!" She smacks his shoulder with little force.

"Geez Nat!" He laughs for a moment, before mulling it over. "I'd like to think heaven, since we're heroes after all."

"But what about me?" Her voice cracks slightly and she bites her lip.

"Nat…" He takes her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.

"Do you think I'd ever end up in hell? Because of all the red on my ledger?" She looks upwards, hoping that will help keep gravity from pulling her tears down.

"Nat, do you know how much good you've done? How much you've changed since those days?" He forces her to meet his eyes, green battling tears while blue emphasize his words. "You've helped me adjust to living in a new century. You were there for Clint after Loki brainwashed him. You've helped Tony through his demons. You taught Wanda how to protect herself. There's so much you've done, Nat… can't you see it?"

Tears finally spill over as her emotions threaten to overwhelm her. "I try hard to, Steve. But sometimes, my doubts just become too much."

Steve pulls her into a hug, grasping her tight as she buries her face into his shoulder. She hates herself for crying, but his hug is comforting. (_"Emotions are a weakness, Natalia" a harsh breath whispers in her ear._)

Reluctantly, she pulls away and wipes away her tears. "Thank you. Sometimes I just need the reassurance from someone else."

"I'm here anytime. It's what partners are for."

Meeting his eyes, green against blue, she sees his earnest conviction and knows that he means it. (_He never lies after all._)

She rests her head on his shoulder as he pulls her in for another hug.

(_She could always let her guard down around him._)

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"Hey." She looks up to see a vision from her past. Cropped blonde hair, clean-shaven face, same ocean-colored eyes… exactly how he looked when they first met. (_How much they have changed since New York…_)

"Steve." She greets him, feeling awkwardness envelope the room. He stays a few feet away, unsure if he's invited to sit at the desk she claimed as her own years ago. The captain's desk that _used_ to belong to him.

"Sit." She gestures, and he takes her offer.

She lets silence settle between them for a few moments, before saying what's she wanted to say for five _long_ years, "You left." (_She was never one to beat around the bush._)

He looks down, the shame is evident on his face. "I'm sorry, Natasha. I just couldn't do this anymore. Not after we lost everyone."

She feels anger rise in her chest, "But that's exactly why we had – no, _have_ – to keep doing this job. For the people we lost. To make up for our failure." She tries to keep her emotions in check, but after getting the news from Rhodey about Clint and now this, she can't stop the tears from falling.

Steve's eyes remain downcast as she continues, in a softer voice, "I used to have nothing. And then I got this. This job. This family." Light illuminates the tear streaks across her pale skin, they stubbornly keep regenerating as she wipes them away.

"And I was better because of it." A small smile peeks through her sadness as she meets her old partner's eyes. "And even though they're gone, I'm still trying to be better."

"That's why I need to keep fighting, Steve." She finishes, grabbing his hand to emphasize her point.

"I understand that, Natasha. And I'm sorry I left you alone to do my job."

"I could always open up a spot for my old partner, you know." She sends a smirk his way to show that she understands. "A friend once taught me a lot about second chances and how everyone deserves one." (_She's not one to judge people for their worst mistakes._)

He sends a nod her way along with a grateful smile. "I think we both need to get a life, Nat." He jokes.

"You first," she smiles, her first real one in months.

(_She always felt whole when he was around_.)

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**A/N: ****If you couldn't guess, the first scene is from Civil War and the last is from Endgame where I gave it my own twist. ****These are turning out longer than I originally planned, but the characters have such good chemistry it's hard not to let them run the show. With Steve and Nat's relationship, I like how they can be open with each other and are there for each other when one of them is going through a lot of emotional turmoil. It's a great partnership/friendship/romance/whatever you ship, I just love the chemistry. **

**I'm still writing the scenes with the other original Avengers and I plan to include one each with Spider-man, Falcon, Rhodey, Vision, and possibly a few others as well. If there's anything you'd like to see just leave a review or DM me and I'll be happy to try and incorporate it.**


	5. Peter

**A/N: Some friendly neighborhood spiderman anyone? Let's pretend that Tony introduced Peter to his team in CACW before the airport and this happened.**

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"I can't believe you brought a kid along!"

"He's good at what he does. He'll be fine!"

"He's too young, Tony. He shouldn't be here."

Peter listened to the two Avengers argue, pretending he couldn't hear their muffled fight in the other room. He half-wished he couldn't either, it was humiliating that they were in a heated debate about him.

Mr. Stark had been nice about everything, giving him a new suit, flying him out to Berlin, and having confidence in him. He was finally getting recognized for his heroics (not that he asked to be, but it was still nice all the same) and he was going to meet the _Avengers_. Well, not all of them, but still a bunch of them!

He'd been really excited and trying to figure out how to secretly record the meeting with his phone when he met them, but Ms. Black Widow (yes, _the Black Widow!_) took one look at Peter and dragged Mr. Stark aside. Thus, began the awkward conversation Mr. Rhodes and Mr. the Vision tried to have with Peter to cover up the argument going on.

"How long have you been engaging in heroic actions, Mr. Parker?" The human-android asked him politely.

"Uh, a couple of years now," Peter replied, his leg fidgeting nervously. He could still hear the argument, and his brow furrowed. Would Black Widow not let him fight? He could handle himself just fine despite only being fifteen.

"How exactly did you get your powers?" Mr. (or was it Lieutenant Colonel? Or just Colonel?) Rhodes questioned him next. The man's eyes narrowed as he inspected Peter as if disbelieving that this boy really was Spider-_man_.

Scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, Peter winced at the memory of the spider bite. "I got bitten by a radioactive spider. Woke up with them the next day." He deliberately left out the part of how he had been technically trespassing (he's just got lost on the field trip and took a wrong turn that's all) in Oscorp's secret laboratory.

Mr. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes (as Peter decided to call him in his mind) nodded, although he didn't look a hundred percent convinced. He was saved from more questions as the door opened and out stalked a _very_ scary Black Widow, followed by an indignant Mr. Stark. Her green eyes focused in on Peter's wide ones, he froze as she pointed at him.

"You, come with me." Her tone left no room for argument as she paced out of the room. Peter hesitantly got up, sending a pleading look at Mr. Stark. He gave Peter a small smile that instilled no confidence in the teenage whatsoever. "Don't worry kid, she's more likely to hurt me at this point than you."

Peter gulped as he walked down the hallway where Black Widow had disappeared. His spider-senses weren't tingling, telling him he was in no danger, but that did little to soothe his growing nerves. The hallway spilled into a large gym with a sparring ring and multiple targets were set up.

Black Widow stood on the edge of the sparring ring, her sleeves rolled up and hair pulled back into a ponytail. She didn't spare him a glance as he got closer. "Hop on in. We're going to spar."

She tossed him some boxing gloves as she attached her own. He just stared at her slack-jawed until her sharp eyes met his, "Building a web would be a better way to catch flies."

Peter shut his mouth but stayed where he was. "Why are we sparring?"

She turned to face him now, coming up to the edge of the ring. She was taller than him with the extra leverage, but he still would have been intimidated at her normal height. "Stark said you were good at what you do. So now you're going to prove it."

"Am I proving myself just to you or to the other Avengers as well?" He asked boldly, still holding her gaze. He remembered the doubt in War Machine's eyes and Vision's extreme scrutiny when Mr. Stark introduced him.

A hint of a smirk came across her face, "A little bit of both."

Peter nodded, determination flooding him at her words. He never expected to be handed anything in his life, his Uncle Ben and Aunt May taught him that. As much as sparring with Black Widow frightened him, he would focus on showing her that he belonged here.

He climbed into the ring where she was already coiled for battle, her fists up and expression deadly. Pulling on the gloves and getting into a proper fighting stance, he allowed her to move first. In a flash of red, she struck a few quick jabs. He blocked them easily but pushed down the pride that began to form. He knew she was just testing his reflexes.

Giving him no time to recover, she leaped at him, quicker this time. He barely dodged, flipping over her head as she lunged. He wished he had his web-shooters but settled for grabbing her foot as she kicked at him. Surprise blossomed on her face as he threw her across the arena.

Pouncing back on her feet, she aimed several punches at his head which he all successfully dodged. He felt the pride coming back as he'd managed to avoid all of Black Widow's attacks without even breaking a swe— "ow!"

He wheezed as his back landed on the floor, her forearm pressed against his throat. A few red tendrils fall from her ponytail, coming down to frame her face. She wiped them away as she stood up to offer him a hand.

"You got cocky. Let down your guard so I could sweep your feet from right under you." She explained, her expression analytical.

He grabbed her outstretched hand, "How long did I last?" He coughed, his voice still tight from getting his windpipe knocked.

"What?" She deadpanned, her head cocking quizzically.

"How long did it take you to knock down?" He clarified, walking over to the water cooler nearby to take a sip.

"About a minute I'd say. Wasn't really counting, why?"

He grinned at her, "So I can try to last longer next time."

She mirrored his smile with a smirk. "You think there will be a next time?"

"I'm hoping." He finished it off with a slight tilt of his head and imploring eyes. (Even Aunt May finds it hard to resist his charm.)

She scoffed, knowing exactly what he's doing. "I'll think about it. But only because your close-range combat needs serious work if we're going to be on the same team." She turned to exit the ring, her ponytail swaying as she walked out.

Peter waited until she left before fist-punching the air in victory at her last sentence.

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**A/N: I needed something lighthearted so I let Peter dictate this chapter. As usual, he took it with youthful exuberance and made this the longest one yet. Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised him to be a proper gentleman so that's why he tries to call everyone by their proper title when addressing them, even if it's mentally, that's why he goes into a mini-crisis over what Rhodey's title is supposed to be. He's just adorable and I really wish there were some scenes of him interacting with the other avengers besides Tony, but that's what fanfiction is for I guess ;)**

**Thank you to everyone who's followed/favorited/reviewed! **

**As always, let me know what you think and send me anything you'd like to see!**


	6. Nebula

**A/N: Here's a short Nebula perspective based on the headcanon that she would have mentioned something about how both her father and sister went to Vormir and only one came back. I hope Nebula sounds in-character, I found it a bit tricky to write her voice.**

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Nebula pulls her aside right after the meeting ends, her dark eyes storming with emotions. This is the most unsettled Natasha's ever seen her, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Bringing a hand up to the cyborg's shoulder, Nebula looks down at the Russian's hand, unblinking. Her voice is raspier than usual as she replies, "My father and sister went for the soul stone. Only one came back alive."

Natasha's brow scrunches up, trying to decipher her friend's words. Nebula fills in the gap before she can figure it out, "There is a legend – I do not know how true – that one must sacrifice someone they love for the stone."

"Oh," Natasha says as Nebula fidgets in front of her.

Her blue-skinned friend continues, "I wanted to warn you. To prepare for the worst."

Natasha nods, her thoughts racing immediately to what Clint will do if Nebula's words are true. The former assassin knows her mission is to get the soul stone, but this isn't the first time she's had another convert one in addition. It also won't be the first time she lies to her partner about it.

(She thinks back to the good old days in D.C. before they blew up the helicarriers and exposed her secrets to the world.

"Okay, that was on me." She admitted to a pissed off Steve right after the explosion rippled just over their heads.

"Damn right it is.")

Steve hadn't been happy, as Clint surely won't be either. No one can know about this, she decides mentally.

"Don't tell anyone what you told me." Natasha instructs Nebula. "We have our missions and we all know what needs to be done. No need to worry anyone else about this."

Her friend acquiesces, but not after giving her a long look. Natasha smiles reassuringly, but Nebula's not stupid.

She's the only one who notices how Natasha's hand lingers on Steve's shoulder longer than usual, surprises Rhodey with a hug, gangs up with Rocket on teasing everyone (especially Scott with his dorky time-travel references), sends off a holographic message to Okoye and Carol explaining their plan, allows Thor to braid her hair like the warriors of Asgard used to do before battle, punch Tony lighter than usual after a snarky comment, sit down with Bruce and enjoy the special tea brews they both love, and how the familiar golden arrow necklace is conveniently missing as she puts on their quantum suits.

No one else seems to think anything of it, just that Natasha is spending a little bit more time with everyone before they go into the biggest fight of their lives.

But Nebula keeps her word and allows Natasha to say good-bye in her little interactions. She bites her tongue as Natasha jokes, "See you in a minute." She memorizes her friend's smile as Rhodey tells them to watch each other's six. She focuses on their mission and tries not to worry for the red-headed woman who had been her commander for the past five years.

She's not surprised when the battle is over and among the ruins of the facility, Natasha is missing. Clint's voice breaks as he recounts the story for her and the recently revived, but she bows her head to not betray her surprise.

Gamora from another time turns to her, curious by melancholy emotions on her sister's face. "This Natasha… who was she?"

Nebula turns to meet her sister's indifferent eyes, "A great warrior who I respected deeply."

Gamora's eyes widen for a moment before being replaced by indifference again, "She must be if she had your respect."

"Yes, she was." Nebula says.

* * *

**A/N: Some quick news: Updates might be a bit more sporadic now that school is starting for me again. I do intend on finishing this story, so don't get discouraged if it takes a while for the next update, I'm just going to be busy with classes. **

**I also have posted these chapters on Ao3 recently in case anyone's interested in checking them out over there. I like how you can post things individually as a series, so I formatted them as one-shots listed under the series "in honor of" for continuity. I know some people prefer to read certain chapters over others so I figured that was a way to cater to those people who didn't want to keep skipping around this story to read about only the characters they're interested in. **

**And lastly: thank you to everyone who's read this story, followed, favorited, and reviewed! This story has over 2,000 views which blows my mind! This was only intended to be a way for me to vent my feelings about Marvel killing off Nat, but the fact that so many people have actually read my stuff? It's an incredible feeling, so thank you for that :)**

**Please also reach out to me with any prompts or specific things you might like to see. I'm thinking about adding multiple chapters of certain characters if I get enough inspiration.**


	7. Thor

**A/N: School's been hectic, but I managed to get a few scenes here featuring Thor, Nat, and the team. It's a bit last minute so sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. I hope you guys enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. And this is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.**

* * *

I.

"I chose green lizard!" Thor shouts as he rapidly presses the button on the Wii remote when the selection screen pops up.

"Aw, come on!" Clint whines while Natasha quickly picks her favorite character, Toad.

Their pouty-faced teammate sullenly chooses Luigi. "First my kids, now Thor. I never get to play Yoshi," he mutters under his breath so only Natasha can hear him.

Sending him a smirk, her partner elbows her while Bruce finally selects Bowser. "What? I have some things in common with the guy." The scientist defends his option when his teammates raise an eyebrow.

"Whatever, let's just play." Clint looks at Natasha who's in charge of picking.

The race selection screen pops up and her sensor hovers across the screen as she tries to pick, before a devilish grin creeps onto her face. "Hey, let's say who wins this race gets to pick their character first next time."

Clint meets her eyes, catching onto her ploy. "Let's do it."

Predictably, Thor nods along, eager at the chance for competition while Bruce just shrugs carelessly. The spies' matching grins grow, knowing that the only true competition will be each other since Thor was terrible at any Earth video game while Bruce simply didn't care enough to try.

"Let's make it interesting though. What will the loser have to do?" Clint asks her.

"Will have to do the Hulk's laundry for a month."

"It's on."

"Hey, don't I get an opinion about that." Bruce protests, but Natasha cuts him off. "Don't worry about it, I'm gonna wipe Clint so far off the track he'll never be able to catch up."

"Oh, it's on, Tasha." Her partner readies his thumbs over the controller, "It's on."

She laughs as she moves her sensor over to the bottom right corner of the screen, selecting Rainbow Road. Thor copies Clint's position while she just sends a "don't worry" smile to Bruce. As the sequence begins to countdown, she presses her thumb down just after two for the extra boost and they're off!

She's expertly guiding her kart around the turns and dodging the attempts of her fellow players to knock her off the road when someone shoots past her. Toad's kart spins out of control, barely hanging on the edge of the track as more computer-generated characters fly by. Checking the screen, surprise fills her when she sees it was Yoshi.

Sending a suspicious glance at Thor, who is concentrating deeply on pegging the characters around him with turtle shells, Natasha is amazed at his skill. _Someone's been practicing_, narrowing her eyes in determination, she takes off again.

Once she gets close to Thor's avatar again, he sends a turtle shell her way which she barely dodges as he flies over a speed bump, rapidly shaking his Wii remote for the extra burst of speed. He sends her a smirk from the other side of the living room as she tries again.

"Hey, watch it!" Clint says when Toad almost runs into Luigi after getting hit with a banana peel this time.

"I'm trying, but I can't get past Thor." She grinds her teeth in frustration when she tries again. Toad is in second while Yoshi is in first and they're on their last lap. Who knew Thor was this good?

This time as she tries to edge around his character using her last mushroom, the small green lizard pushes her off the track and into a fireball launching into space. A growl escapes her throat as other the other computer-generated characters pass her while the stupid cloud turtle takes _forever_ to drop her back on the track.

Clint has the audacity to laugh at her reaction when Thor does the same to him. "Hey!" The archer protests while Natasha takes the opportunity to pass him with glee. Thor lets out a victorious roar as his character crosses the finish line first and Bruce smiles smugly as his crosses over in fourth, somehow able to slip by in the chaos.

Natasha's not happy about coming in eighth place but knows it's better than Clint's place of eleventh. Bruce turns to him, "I use lavender scented detergent. Makes everything smell better."

Clint grumbles under his breath, "When did Thor become so good at Mario Kart?"

"He's a worthy opponent," Natasha jokes. She meets Thor's blue eyes as she adds, "Next time Tony makes us play teams, you're on mine."

The Asgardian smiles, "That is kind of you, Lady Natasha. Now, what shall we bet on for the next round?"

"Whoever can knock Clint off the track the most wins first pick when we order out next."

Bruce and Thor agree eagerly while Clint complains with a sharp, "Hey!"

* * *

II.

"Lady Natasha." His manner is faltering as he approaches.

"Lord Thor." Her tone teasing and she flashes him a friendly smile as she throws his formality back at him.

He sits across from her, his expression baffled. She meets his eyes, watching the swirl of questions resting on his lips. A few moments pass before he asks, "Why did you decline the chance to see if you are worthy?"

Her brow scrunches up before recognition dawns in her eyes, recalling the party two weeks ago and the hammer that stayed glued to the coffee table despite Tony's best efforts.

"It's just not a question I need answered. That's all." She raised her spoon to her mouth, taking a bite of her Cheerios.

"Do you not feel worthy?" The God of Thunder asks, his sky-colored eyes still filled with puzzlement.

Taking a moment to swallow, she quickly shakes her head. "It's not that. I just don't want to find out."

"I still do not understand. The others took their chance. Would you not like to see if you are fit to rule Asgard?" He asks as she took another mouthful.

"Nmph." She mumbles, before shaking her head. She lays down her spoon, absolving herself to finish her soggy breakfast after this strange interrogation is over. "I know how tempting power like that can be, so I avoid it as much as I can."

"Why do you say that?" The god's voice rumbles through the empty kitchen.

She pauses for a moment, "I've seen how corrupted people can become when trying to achieve that sort of power and the lengths they go to maintain it. I've been sent to kill by people like that. The power messes with people's minds, and I've had my mind messed with enough for a lifetime, so I'd rather not take any chance to be near something like that, however small."

Thor frowns at this. "You think of me as corrupt?"

Realizing her faux pas, she quickly says, "No! Of course not!"

The God of Thunder's face is still set in a frown. "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry, Thor. You're nothing like the people I used to work for, trust me on that. I should have explained it better: I see what Mjölnir represents as a strong reminder of my past, and who I used to work for. I promised myself I would never do anything for power like that, even if it is just a party game."

Natasha swallows as flashes came across her mind. (_A small brown-eyed girl reflected the horror pooling in Natalia's stomach as her small hands grasped at the seeping blood from her chest wound. Drops of red in the snow, the crunch of the body falling, and the eternal screams that even death couldn't silence were the only signs she had been there._) She wipes them away, allowing only a slight tremor out to show Thor her seriousness.

("_Something is terrifyingly bad if Nat's afraid," Clint once told them._)

"You know what an honor it is to be given such power and you use it for good. You use it to protect people in need, and to stop others from trying to become too powerful as well."

She reaches her hand over to grasp the god's forearm. "I am sorry."

A minute passes as Natasha watches his emotions carefully before he selects a neutral one. Surprising her with a blinding grin, he says. "It is alright, Lady Natasha. Thank you for your kind words. I have come to…" he paused for a moment, his eyes hinting at embarrassment. "…doubt myself quite recently. You have helped me greatly."

He grasps her hand in a firm shake before striding off, pleasure at the Lady Natasha's confidence in him evident.

She watches him walk away, confusion still residing in her at the uncharacteristic conversation she just had, but she turns to finish her breakfast without dwelling on it too much.

* * *

III.

"Miss Romanoff!" A reporter shouts, waving their pen in the air obnoxiously._ Agent Romanoff_, she snidely corrects him in her head as she reluctantly gestures for him to continue.

A greying-haired man, his eyes pierce hers as he talks, "I was really impressed with your performance in the battle in New York. I'm curious though, with the way you were able to fight despite your hair being down, is that how you usually fight? Or did you not have time to pull it back?"

The second he opened his mouth, Natasha knew it wasn't going to be a good question, but _this?_ She was ready to punch his teeth out, already gripping the edges of her chair in a death grip and uncrossing her legs; Clint and Tony sit to her right, both with shit-eating grins on their faces, eager to see her rip this reporter apart.

Sucking in a quick breath, she tries very hard to remember her SHIELD training from Coulson: _You can't just go around killing people who piss you off, Romanoff. You need to have self-control. _And every ounce of her being is going into keeping her body from springing on the man.

Her face is set in an icy glare, which seems to not deter the reporter as he continues, thinking she wants more of an elaboration (that is the _last_ thing she wants). "And how do you always keep it so voluminous? What kind of brand of shampoo do you use?"

Her best friend tries to hide his snickers behind his hand but fails spectacularly as Thor shoots him a confused look, clearly not understanding what is wrong. As Natasha grits her teeth, hearing the grinding in her skull, the Asgardian pipes up, "You wish to know our routine of care?"

The reporter begins to shake his head, but Thor plows on forward still very much oblivious. "I begin by dampening it before using what you Midgardians call 'shampoo'. The one that gets bubbly when you rub it in your hair." He mimics washing his hair with both hands as he continues, "I lather it for five minutes before rinsing it, and I'm sure I never use what the proper amount is. A 'dime' is not a measurement I'm familiar with."

As her teammate explains further, Natasha finds a smile growing on her face as the reporter begins to gap wordlessly as Thor steals the attention away from her. He tries to interrupt the god but fails as Thor switches into his conditioning routine. Clint and Tony have lost their cool by now, doubling over in laughter while a lot of other reporters in the crowd join in. Even Bruce and Steve crack a grin.

"And I don't wash it for at _least_ ten minutes, and I brush it to make sure the conditioner has soaked fully into my hair to make sure it works," Thor keeps going eagerly. His blue eyes twinkle excitedly as he still animatedly acts out his shower routine for the cameras. Natasha is sure this is going to be one of the top news stories tomorrow with ridiculous headlines.

Once the Asgardian Prince finally finishes, the reporter who originally asked the question stays silent for the rest of the press conference to Natasha's delight. She's even more excited the next morning to wake up to Thor's face plastered all over the internet and the headlines the interview produced.

_The God of Thunder or the God of Hair?_

_How Thor manages to look so good. His secret ingredient: his hair!_

_Need fresh tips on how to look amazing? Ask the Asgardian Prince himself!_

* * *

**A/N: The Mario Kart piece is how my friends and I act everytime we play, its extremely competitive and we take a lot of pride in who can knock the most people off on Rainbow Road especially. **

**The reporter piece and Thor completely taking over the question, I imagine as he interpreted the question for the whole group, not just for Nat. He's a prince and I feel like he would take such good care of it, and Asgard doesn't have the same customs as Earth so he can feel really comfortable going into a lot of detail about his hair routine. I didn't come up with the idea though, credit goes to light_loves_the_dark from their fic delicate on a03 (it's an ironwidow fic, but pretty good despite me being a romanogers shipper lol).**


	8. Interlude I

**A/N: I haven't updated this story in forever and I'm sorry for that. I managed to scrape up a couple of pieces I had written originally for this fic but I never really knew where to put them b/c they fit with the theme, but didn't follow the premise of each chapter is Nat's interactions with one character. so you're all getting some bonus chapters :)**

**They are:**

**1\. Nat's perspective as she falls (warning: Very angsty chap)**

**2\. Nuggets from Clint and Nat's early shield days (warning: features some dark humor, but pretty lighthearted overall)**

**And I don't own anything but the plot and it's unbeta'd.**

* * *

**Interlude I: As I fall, I think of you**

_._

_._

_._

_._

_"__In my culture, death is not the end. It is more of a stepping-off point. You reach out with both hands and, Bast and Sekhmet, they lead you into the green veldt, where you can run forever."_

_"__That sounds very peaceful."_

\- T'Challa and Natasha

.

.

.

.

She curses as he grabs her wrist, for every second he holds onto her makes the pit of fear in her stomach larger. It hurts too much already, having to be the one to break his heart, but to have to look into his eyes before he sees her die… that just might break her.

"Damn you." He mutters as he surveys their situation. She's been his partner long enough to know that he's trying to figure out to get her out of this alive. (_Years ago, bullets rained down on them and he threw his body over hers; it was the first time someone ever cared enough to save her life._)

"Let me go." She whispers softly, hoping that he's strong enough to do what needs to be done. (_Whatever it takes._)

"No!" He's desperate, she can see. "Please, no." He sobs out, tears beginning to fall. She knows he will blame himself, but it's what must be done. (_Laura's kind eyes, Cooper's warm smile, Lila's bright aura, and Nathaniel's belly laugh._)

"It's okay." She has a plan, he knows. ("_She always has a plan, it's Nat after all!"_)

She selfishly allows herself one more moment with him, thinking back on the day he saved her soul. Eons ago, when the only way out was death, and she had been welcoming to it. But instead, he gave her his hand, not the arrow.

The moment is fleeting, but she wills it to be her last as she kicks, _with every last bit of strength_, against the cliff. (_T'Challa's words ring in her mind. This is her stepping off point._) The fear rises in her throat as his cry reaches her ears, but she swallows it back, willing herself to not let it show.

She counts the seconds as they pass.

_Один._

A few happy memories spark in her mind. The red-headed woman and the man with sparkling green eyes as they wish her good-night and magic the monsters of the dark away. Years ago, at the chain-link fence and two gravestones, her mother's name was legible, but her father's was scratched away. Lost in time.

_Два. _

Until now… _Ivan_. She likes knowing his name, a piece of her past returned. She wonders what her parents would think of her and what she has done. She hopes that they would be proud of her. (_Мы любим тебя, Наталья._)

_Три. _

She wonders if they're waiting for her on the other side. She hopes so.

_Четыре. _

Clint is smaller now, but his wail still rings in her ears. She keeps her eyes upward, drinking in the twilight sky and golden halo that is this strange planet's sun. (_"There are worse ways to go. Where else am I going to get a view like this?"_)

_Пять. _

Willing her thoughts to happy times, Nat reflects on the work she has done and the family she has managed to gather. First Clint, Fury, and Coulson, next Tony and Pepper, then Steve, Thor, and Bruce. Later Maria would join, along with Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Rhodey. Rocket, Nebula, Okoye, and Carol could be included as well.

(_One day, a slightly younger Natasha looked up from her book to see the ragtag group surrounding her, each preoccupied with their own things. She stayed silent but smiled, a genuine and rare sighting, at the ones around her before going back to her page._)

_Шесть. _

Pranks in the tower, freefalling with Steve out of the quinjet, performing the perfect pirouette for the first time, debates with Bruce and Thor, vacations at the Barton house, sleepovers with Wanda, teaching Vision how to flirt… the fear tries to rise again, she knows the ground is near.

(_"Do you ever think I'd end up in hell? Because of all the red on my ledger?" She once asked, allowing the constant voice of her demons to finally be spoken aloud._)

_Семь. _

But she swallows it back because this moment isn't about _her. _It's about _them. _And how _they will win_.

She doesn't regret jumping, she would do it again in a heartbeat because it was for _them_. Clint, Steve, Bruce, Tony, Thor, Wanda, Sam… (_the list is longer than she ever thought it would be_) and the billions the stone will help save.

The dripping, oozing, bleeding red used to be her reason for everything until she met them. And then they became her reason, her motivation, her life.

(_They allowed her to paint it all white. A blank canvas, a new start._)

_Восемь._

For the first time in years, she feels at peace. Maybe it is the serene sky above her or the knowledge that her sacrifice will mean something wonderful. (_All of those billions will be given a chance once again._)

An eternal smile graces her face as she lands, feeling none of the pain and all of light.

* * *

**Translations: **

_Мы любим тебя, Наталья - _We love you, Natalia.

_Один, __Два, __Три, __Четыре, __Пять, __Шесть, __Семь, __Восемь - _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

* * *

**A/N: I wrote this _very_ early on and it has been posted on my ao3 account for a while now, but really wanted you guys over here at to see it too. **


	9. Interlude II

**A/N: These were some extra nuggets I had lying around because my original idea ****was going to do some dark humor jokes and gags the two would exchange during their partnership but that didn't hold up as much as the other idea I've got for Clint's chapter****. **

**As usual, i own nothing and it's unbeta'd**

* * *

**Interlude II: Clint and Nat's shared sense of humor is too dark to handle**

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Clint asked between the bursts of pain as the car jostled. Tasha sat next to him in the backseat, trying to stop the bleeding.

"To the morgue," she quipped. Her green eyes sparkling at her joke, trying to hide the fear within them.

Clint mustered up all of his energy to sound outraged. "What? I'm not dead yet!"

"And we're not there yet." She cheeked but applied more pressure to his wound, her eyes still dark. "So you better not go dying on me today, Barton."

"Aye, aye, captain," he saluted.

* * *

"You know what's a terrible thought?" His partner asked him as he handed her the binoculars.

"What?"

"That Hitler wasn't actually all that bad in the end," she said emotionlessly, her eyes disappearing through the binoculars to follow their target.

Clint almost wished he'd had food in his mouth so he could spit it out all over her at that moment like in a movie. Instead, he nearly lost his balance and shifted the sniper rifle he was setting up. "What?!"

A smirk crept onto her face, "Well, Hitler did kill Hitler after all. That's more than I can say about Stalin."

He just guffawed at it, "You're right, that is a terrible thought." He tried to keep a tone of disapproval, but couldn't hide his smile for the next hour. Tasha just smirked victoriously next to him for the rest of their stakeout.

* * *

Just before the meeting, Clint found Tasha muttering under her breath in Russian, her eyes dark as she glared at Rumlow who sat across from them in the conference room. "I know I made a promise not to purposefully injure anymore Shield agents," she muttered to Clint as he settled into the chair next to her. "But I feel like Rumlow should be an exception."

Laughing softly at it, he said, "You what a handy tool in this situation is?"

"What?"

"Tied shoelaces."

Tasha took his hint with a smirk as Fury marched into the room with his long coat billowing behind him. Coulson and Hill followed, both straight-faced and hands were full of files. Coulson began to pass them out, and as Tasha went to grab hers, her fingers slipped and the files went flying around the room.

"Oh sorry!" She cried as Coulson gave her a questioning look. Their Commanding Officer met Clint's eyes who merely shrugged as Tasha ducked under the table to grab some of the papers. A minute later she popped up and handed them back to Coulson with a sheepish smile.

Again their CO studied them for a moment but went back to passing out the files. Tasha leaned in towards Clint, "It's done."

After the meeting, they shared a laugh as Rumlow stood up to take a step and keeled over immediately. Everyone in the room watched with suppressed amusement when the bulky agent rolled over to see that his shoes were tied together. Loudly cursing whoever did this to him, only Rollins stuck around to help Rumlow to his feet, only for Rumlow to nearly shoving his teammate's hand aside as he sat up to untangle his shoelaces.

Coulson glanced around the room, his glare settling on two agents in the corner. Barton sent his CO a helpless shrug while Romanoff's face gave nothing away. They didn't wither under Coulson's knowing stare, but probably because they also caught the small smile Coulson was trying to hide as well.

* * *

**A/N: Good ole SHIELD days are some of the best to write **

**Thanks to everyone's who's commented/fav'd/followed! It's made my day every time I get a notification about it :)**


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